No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
