No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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