she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hippo gnu deer
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
