Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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