I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Barsexuality is the new black.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
