It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
