38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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