The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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