i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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