you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
