ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
