the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
This gyro tastes like lonliness
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Randomize
