i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
