I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
