i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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