do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
