Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
3 2 1 whiskey
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
