the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize