He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
