the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize