so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
