if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
