yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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