I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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