There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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