i think my mom watched the whole time
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
