Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
