You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
