You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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