forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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