my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
