Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
