We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
