Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
