They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just forgot I was standing up.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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