After last night, I could never be a politician.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
