I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
