I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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