how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just want to make out with him forever
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
