My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
