I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
