it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
