I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
