bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
