ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
