I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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