just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize