My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
