I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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