don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize