i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
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