What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
