So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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