i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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