1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize