I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
