I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
