yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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