when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize